Total Drama Parody Skits: A&F
by Fluffy Otters
Summary: Some parody skits of A&F on Mad TV done by Total Drama characters.


Disclaimer: I obviously don't own the Total Drama Characters or any of the related franchises as much as I wish I did and bet that all you wish you did as well. Oh well. But also, I do not own Abercrombie & Fitch nor the Abercrombie parodies that were on Mad TV which are freaking hilarious.

Author's note: Being deprived of any real creativity right now for the most part, I decide to semi-write some A&F skits that were done on Mad TV or something (I saw them on Youtube so I don't know) and they were so ridiculously funny I just needed to write them with Total Drama characters but please note that the quotes said don't necessarily reflect my opinions at all and I am just directly saying as done by the parody, nor do I necessarily mean offense to A&F or anyone that is insulted (well, except Courtney, I admit I do get a rush of pleasure knocking her but she just drives me nuts). Just so you know, there will most definitely be some racial slurs said in this parody and it will be very, very chauvinistic. Again, I mean no offense to anyone by writing this and this is a parody so don't flame please. If you want to watch the actual video(s), youtube A&F Mad TV.

Warnings: Contains lots of yaoi (male/male slash) as well as very overt and some covert sexual references. Some racial and fat slurring as well as anti-heterosexual (lol, role reversal) content. Again, this does not necessarily reflect my personal opinions and I have no idea how accurate this content may be being that this came from A&F parodies on Mad TV.

Skit 1:

Characters:

Storm: Justin (who I'm counting as White Caucasian by assuming he's European and therefore falling under the category even if he gold brown tan beautiful and not pale)

Carpenter: Duncan

Dutch: Geoff

Guy: Ezekiel

Girlfriend: Some girl named Jenny (OC)

Ezekiel and his girlfriend whom we'll all call Jenny, were walking around one day at the mall in order to find new clothes for Ezekiel and also for her because it is well known that women are very frequent clothes shoppers and just despise reusing them even when they're still good. Anyhow, Jenny finally had enough of Ezekiel's very limited clothes selection only containing about three different outfits, and decided that enough was enough and dragged his country butt up to the mall to get some new clothes. Jenny saw an A&F store and decided that they must go in to the store and buy there, despite Ezekiel's protestations and shock at how costly it was to buy there.

Inside, he stood there looking at the pants in bewilderment. This could not be right! Despite rarely having been in the mall and totally not into the current fashion trend, he could not fathom why for any possible reason anyone would buy this junk. He turned to Jenny exasperated.

"Why would anyone buy this? At Sears we could buy this pair of jeans for $19. Here, you can pay $80 for the same thing and you get to have holes in them." Jenny sighed, clearly she would have to explain this again to poor Zeke, he really was fashion deprived.

"It's cool, it's an image thing."

"Well it's a stupid image thing. I mean like really, look at that. What is that? Is that guy naked fly-fishing? Why would anyone do that?"

"I don't know, maybe people in the US. Now just put it on." Ezekiel pouted and grudgingly agreed but only if they got to have ice-cream or something later. Jenny wasn't listening, already too busy looking at other things and Ezekiel was left alone to try to find a changing room. Unfortunately, there only seemed to be one open at the time and there was already a huge line. He wondered why there was only one open and why the employees of the store weren't doing anything about it. Taking a deep breath, he walked over to one who was busy admiring the quite likely nude fly-fishing poster of himself (Ezekiel decided that all those posters up must be of people who work there although he did wonder why in all of them, they wore little to nothing). He tapped him on the back and the older teen who now seemed to be around Ezekiel's age, turned around in a huff and then out of nowhere posed. It was awkward, at least for Ezekiel, especially since the other guy seemed a bit preoccupied and distracted, but Ezekiel was not going to let that scare him off from asking his request, especially since there would be a lot of people benefitting from it.

"Yeah," the guy said, almost arrogantly. Ezekiel tried to keep from getting angry. Who did this guy think he was? Clearly someone important but his air of indifference was aggravating. The guy didn't even seem to care or notice that people were waiting in a long line just to get into a freaking change room. He was close to seething mad, he had a rough day, Jenny kept ragging on him, and this guy was just too dang good-looking and knows it to be around right now. He had to stop himself from shoving his finger in the guy's face.

"Hey, uh, if you don't notice, there seems to be a long line of people wanting to get into the change room so if you don't mind, do you think you can open another one?" The guy moved a hand through his hair and thought for a second. Then he smirked.

"No." Ezekiel pretty much lost it.

"And why not??!" The guy shrugged.

"I don't have the key." He shrugged again, seemingly apologetic but Ezekiel saw that he didn't seem to care one way or the other. Well, fuck him. Ezekiel hated those people, who didn't seem to care about anything. He just needed someone to open up the stupid change room so he could leave.

"Well then, who does?" Ezekiel asked. The model shrugged and finally decided to ask, just to get rid of the annoying nuisance.

"Hey Duncan, you got the key?" he called and an a preppy punk guy (how that could even be possible to pull off the world may never know, lol) turns around and also makes a pose. He had a green Mohawk and a dog collar spike necklace around his neck. He also shrugged.

"I don't know. I think Geoff has it. Hey Geoff, you got the key?" Duncan yelled to yet another model, this one with a cowboy hat and wearing a pink jacket open to expose each and every one of his impressive abdominals and big pecs. Geoff stood up and shrugged.

"Nada, I don't have it. I think Justin does though. Hey Justin, you got the key?" he called back to the first model Ezekiel had been talking to. Justin shrugs and reaches under his tight form-fitting green shirt and takes out a key.

"Oh, I guess I do have it. Oops." He gives a laugh and Ezekiel had moved beyond mad to just wanting to pound his head against the wall in frustration. And people thought he was stupid! Especially when Justin's two creepy model friends joined in with the laugh and it was really quite bizarre. "Hey Geoff, catch." Justin threw the keys over to Geoff and he caught them and Justin grinned.

"Nice catch." Geoff smiled back.

"Nice toss," Geoff replied back.

"Nice abs," Duncan threw in at that moment and Geoff did that clicking sound, hand gesture, and wink that guys do in movies when appearing (or trying to appear) sexy.

"Thanks." Justin pulled out a paddle and swatted Ezekiel playfully on the butt. Ezekiel was beyond wondering at this point about why or how and just accepted it.

"Just follow Geoff, he'll help you." Geoff lead them to another change room and opened it. Ezekiel headed in when he noticed Geoff followed him in. Ezekiel quickly pushed him out.

"Get out of here!"

"Sure you don't need any help team mate?" Ezekiel was not at all sure how he was supposed to respond to that so he just decided to just go with it.

"Yeah, team mate" he said sarcastically and Geoff shrugged and walked off to where Justin and Duncan were.

"So what did you guys do last night?" Geoff asked, brimming with curiousity and eager to share. Duncan smirked at him.

"Me and the guys from the crew team, went skinny-dipping in the lake under the moonlight."

"Solid," Justin responded. "Me and some of my buddies from the lacrosse team went to the hunting lodge and took showers together."

"I played touch football in a wheat field with my girlfriend and 13 guys from the water polo team and she split and we gave each other hand jobs." Geoff said. All three nodded their heads together in agreement saying 'cool'.

Jenny knocked on the door of the changing room and called in for Ezekiel. "Hey Zeke, let me see!" Ezekiel came hesitantly out wearing another beanie, the open jacket exposing his body, and various scarves. Jenny tsked under her breath.

"I'm sorry, you were right. That's not really you."

"Woah, yeah it is!" called Justin who along with the others had moved closer to see.

"Yeah, you're like all out A&F man," Duncan added. Geoff nodded as well.

"Hey Zeke, think fast!" he said, throwing a football which Ezekiel caught and then felt a sudden desire to pose with. He blamed it all on the others who kept posing randomly. Geoff comes over and looks him over.

"Awesome catch…and awesome look. That vintage cotton wove really flatters your well defined pecs." Duncan comes over and looks at him closely as well and then looks him in the eye.

"And the hat really brings out your sky blue eyes. Wow, I get lost in those in those long curly lashes," he said seriously, nodding his head. Ezekiel shifted embarrassedly, but strangely flattered by their compliments. Jenny never said he looked good and here beautiful A&F models were telling him he looked hot.

"Stop." He said flushing red. And then he added almost hesitantly, "really?" Justin swaggered over confidently.

"Yeah. And fly-boy, those low rise cargo pants hit your landing zone right above your splashdown." Then out of nowhere, Justin pulls Ezekiel into a hug which Duncan and Geoff join in, feeling Ezekiel down and Ezekiel had to admit he liked it. Ezekiel liked hugs and he didn't get to give or receive one often. He looked over their shoulders at Jenny who was staring at them in disgust. He decided to say something that had always been bothering him.

"See honey, they think I look good." She pulls him out.

"Well I don't," she said, sounding pissed off.

"Well they do," Ezekiel responded petulantly, feeling angry again but this time at Jenny. She never appreciated him!

"Well, whose more important, me or them?" she asked and Ezekiel almost cringed. That was a good question and one he should have known the answer to right away but didn't. He knew he should say Jenny but now it just didn't feel right. Even before this whole A&F thing, things had been feeling wrong between them. He still liked her but he found himself resenting at her, for always bitching at him about his clothes, his look, his intelligence, his personality, well, quite frankly everything about him. It was a miracle he hadn't gagged her mouth or something yet as she was a real yapper. He looked between them, the group of A&F models Justin, Duncan, and Geoff, and then the group of angry girlfriend Jenny. Between the two, he decided that A&F was safer than angry Jenny who will really rip into him once they leave and it would take everything he had not to start bawling or trying to strangle her once she started.

"I don't know," he said and she scowled.

"Well, this is getting a little weird for me so when you do know, I'll be waiting in Old Navy." She turns and stalks out of the store. They all stand still for a few moments in silence and then Ezekiel turns to them.

"So you guys really think I look good?" he asked, uncertain again. They all smirked and nodded.

"Hell yeah!"

"This is the best day of my life." Ezekiel said, and Geoff suddenly had a sly look cross his face.

"Hey Zeke, wanna play Touch football?" he asked, a hungry look in his eyes. Ezekiel almost squirmed in pleasure at the admiring and hungry looks on the A&F models' faces. He wasn't quite familiar with the concept but he knew what it was they wanted at least.

"Sure, who's shirts and who's skins?" he asked and they all replied as one.

"Skins!" and proceeded to rip off their clothes (most of the people had been creeped out earlier and left or were strangely oblivious or completely blatantly looking) and do the pass in football where you pass to the person the ball between your legs but all four of them. Justin, Duncan, and Geoff were all chanting 69, or and over again which confused Zeke but he didn't have much time for thinking because as soon as he got the ball, they all turned and jumped him, tackling him to the floor as they all hugged and pushed at each other, feeling him all over and giving him a hot tingly feel all over his body, stirring things he had never felt before as well as a certain thing down below. The last thing he remembered before his rational brain completely shut down was Justin ripping off the belt, Duncan undoing the zipper, and Geoff stripping the pants as they all took a turn feeling. After that, Ezekiel wasn't quite sure of the events that followed but it was mindblowing and incredible. He later broke up with his girlfriend and started to be attracted to guys ever since then.


End file.
